Holden is 6 months!

Holden,
Today you turn 6 months old!
In just 6 short months you took our family to new heights, I could never understood how much love I could hold in my heart without you!
You have become another light in my life, my second perfect beautiful baby boy!
I've watched you these last 6 months and you amaze me everyday! You have started to show me your little personalty your determination and willingness to prove yourself to the world, you are not second best, You are just the second in line.
I can just see you going places and everyone will know you are there.
You are your fathers child and will never be told what you can not do that's for sure!

You are Mommy's sweet boy, and my love for you goes beyond words! It's hard to believe you have only been here 6 months because your presents just fit into our lives so easily, it's like you filled a hole I did not even know was missing!

I love you so much, to the moon and back!

Love always,
Mommy

New year

New year new me new adventure!

A few things for 2014 are in the works for me, first off I'm going to finish a workout program threw beach body and get my shirt!!! I will earn one :)
I am going to look for the beauty in my everyday life! I must find one thing everyday to take a picture of and post onto Facebook about!
Anything really but something!
Also me and my husband have made a memory jar to document the good things that have happened this year... We want to remember the little things our boys say or do threw out the year, I never want to forget how Shepard use to call Mickey Mouse 'Ah ha'!
Or forget how much he loved 'Foofy' (Goofy) and 'puppy dog' (Pluto) when we went to Disney!
This year we will work better on focusing on the good things!

That's my vow to my kids to see them and myself and Tim as better and in a better light.

Here is to the new year!

On a personal front I am going to start running, in October the plan is to run in the Tower of Terror  10 miler at Walt Disney world!

Bring it on 2014!

Holden Zane

The birth of Holden starts before his birthdate! 

Sept 28th we took Shepard to the Pumpkin patch. At the pumpkin patch there was a corn maze so we took a walk threw that looking for pumpkin questions, during the maze I had one huge contraction where I felt him drop. 

Later that night I was talking to my mom and she informed me she was showing up the next day, that she was in a hotel half way between her house and mine. 

My mom gets there sometime around noon on the 29th of September, she only was able to be there for a few days she had to be back at work on the 2ed of October, I had been saying all along that he would be born on October 1st, so I was teasing my mom that she would be heading back home on his birthday. 

Shepard and I on our balls! 

On September 30th I had an appointment with my midwife, I had asked her to check me and I was 4cm with my bag of water bulging. 
Still not sure when we where having a baby we head to Earth fare (an organic grocery store) and then to Ruby Tuesday for diner. 

Right after we ordered I got the first big contraction, I walked to the bathroom and had another contraction, but still was feeling good. I came out and got me a salad from the salad bar. After I finished eating my salad I had a couple more big contractions so I started walking around to the empty table next to us. I had to walk to the bathroom again and this time I had my bloody show. I came back out and told my mom and Tim that no one was sleeping tonight.

We then got our dinner and I packed mine to-go since by that point the contractions where 5 mins apart and my appetite was gone, Tim then got the check and we headed back to the house around 8pm, when we got home my contractions where about 2-3 mins apart, Tim headed up stairs to get Shepard to bed as I worked on getting a sitter and my Doula, Leyna.

Our sitter was coming from a half hour away, so Tim calls one of his class mates from two doors down. Once he got there I was on my hands and knees with contractions almost on top of one another.

We finally got everything together and left the house around 8:45pm and got to the hospital about 9 pm. Tim dropped me and my mom off at the door and we headed to check in. After getting checked in on my walk to the floor I had to drop to my knees a few times.

As I walked into my room they had the tub prepped and ready to go, the nurse then checked me and I was 8cm, I then headed to the tub around 9:15pm.

Stepping into the tub took all the pressure off me, I felt the best I had felt since the contractions started.

Tim and Leyna showed up a few minutes later and both helping me and talking me threw the contractions. 

I started to feel overwhelmed by everyone being in the little bathroom and all the talking plus my contraction going fast and hard so I asked everyone to just leave the room. Everyone including my nurse and midwife left the room and I took a few deep breaths and told myself that I had this. In that moment my body convulsed into a natural push on its own and I yelled for everyone to come back in. 

As everyone came back in I reached down and could feel my bag of water bulging out, seriously one of the coolest things I ever felt! It was slick like a full water ballon. 
It took me a bit to get in a good position, I wanted to lean back but the tub was laying me too far back, so I told my husband to drop his pants and get in the tub, and he did no questions asked! Tim held me up in his arms and I was able to grip onto his knees and push. As Holden came out I watched my midwife grab the sizers, when I realized Holden was still in his bag of water. In the next second I had a baby on my chest! And when the time was asked it was only 9:36pm! 
All that took place in about 15 mins, it felt like forever and no time at all at the same time. 


I just sat there holding my new baby cuddled up in my husband's arms, as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. I felt so happy and so relaxed at that point, this birth was everything I
hoped for! I had great support and awesome midwife and a wonderful birthing center!
After the cord was milked, Tim leaned over me and cut the cord.






After all that fun I got out of the tub and headed to the bed to be checked and to birth the placenta. I had a 3rd degree tare and had to get stitched up, but the whole time I was getting stitched up I got to hold onto Holden!
I was bleeding more than they would like so I ended up getting a shot of pitocin in my hip to help clamp my uterus down.

I was laying in bed holing Holden when all the sudden I started feeling sick and hot like I was gonna throw up. I knew I was gonna pass out so I passed off Holden to Tim. I got hooked up to an IV at that point and I'm not sure all what happened next hour or so.
Though I know his stats where taken then, Holden Zane was 8lbs 7oz and 19 in long! Completely perfect even with a purple head!

The next day big brother Shepard got to come and meet "little brother" and our family of 4 was all together for the first time!

*photos by my mom! 

To start it all over again

People ask me all the time about my pregnancy and I always say I had a great pregnancy, except and the beginning when I was high risk and stressed out... and then the end when I had preturm labor...

Sounds like really it was not that great, But I loved being pregnant! I did not have morning sickness I felt great most of the time and I was super cute and in love with how I looked with a belly!

I loved the attention I got and the fun we had picking out names and designing the nursery... I say designing because you see once we got around to putting the nursery together I was on bedrest and had to have others do it for me...

So do I put myself threw this again??

I spent a week in the hospital and was with out my dog and that depressed me... I have a child now... what would I do... its not like I had time to find someone to watch him... My husband in now in school, so not like he can just run to my side... his boss gave him many days off to help me... now he will have none and we will have a child too...

My son has never been left with anyone but my mom, who lives 10 hours away...
I have no one...

I have only lived in this town for 6 months I don't have anyone I trust with my son's life... and my husband is in school he only has time off with the school...

I want another baby I do more than anything, I want Shepard to have a sibling, I want him to always have someone who has his back and understands him the way no one else could! I want him to have what I have in my brothers...

I'm scared...

I know in the end everything will work out we will make it work... We want another child...

But I'm scared...

How can I put Shepard through all of this again...

Shepard also spent a week in the hospital... What do I do if the new baby has to do the same?

I dont want to think about my fear...
But in the end,

I'm am just scared...

Christmas part 2!

Oh my where has this year gone! 

My beautiful little boy is now over a year and I just can't believe it! Watching him this past year has been the best experience of my life! I can't believe God blessed me with him!
He is so much like his Daddy, so smart and he pushes himself to do the next thing so fast! He took his first steps at 8 months, but did not start walking until he was 10 months... crawling was just so much faster! He "talks" all the time and man he has my attitude when he gets mad!

His first birthday was a blast! We went to a farm! There was live animals and even a hay ride!

He had so many family members come to wish him a great first year! His Grandma and great Grandma came from NC! His Grammie came all the way from Texas! His Auntie C drove in from St. Louis! His Auntie Jess drove down from Chicago! And Mrs Kim took a train in all the way from Louisiana!
His Uncle Mike and Teresa also joined us from Cincinnati!

It was a bit cold but the rain cleared just in time for us to party strong!








Tim has started going to AFIT to get his masters! So we all moved to Dayton Oh. So far I really am enjoying living here. This is a much bigger city than anything I'm use to, so I tend to stay in one area of the town and get locked into the "same ol", So I'm going to try my hardest to find more stuff going on around everywhere!

We are not going to be here long so I want to get as much out of it as I can!

So here we are Blessed Family of three, on our way into another wonderful Christmas season!

Disney world with babies

I remember standing in line at the Haunted Mansion about 6 months pregnant and I see a woman a few people in front of me and saying to my husband, "who would be that crazy to bring a baby here" well you know who?... Me that's who! 


Me and my husband started taking trips to Disney for our honeymoon, and have been every year since. My son, Shepard who was 9 months when we went, was not about to miss out on what had started to be a tradition in our little family. 


And believe it or not we had an absolute blast! 


First thing to remember is don't rush anything and utilize everything! 


Our trip started long before we even got to the park, I made reservations at the Port Orleans resort. 

First things first when they ask if you need a pack in play say YES! Even if you co-sleep there may be times when you need it and it is Free. 

I almost opted out thinking my son would want his own place but we where flying and less is more in air travel. 


If you are flying and staying in a Disney resort take advantage of the Disney's magical express. It's a buss from the air port to your resort, but you don't have to pick up your checked bags, and Disney brings them right to your room. Again this service is also free! 




Before you head off to Disney purchase a photopass CD, you will get a huge discount and those will most likely be the only pictures you get as a whole family.


Also if you use ALL Disney transportation you don't even need to bring a car seat! The bus system does not allow a car seat on them so if this makes you uneasy you will need to drive. Though if you are staying in a resort parking is free. (you feeling a trend yet!) 


From the first moment you walk into the Disney resort you will begin to feel the Disney hospitality. Disney cast members are the best in the world, they are trained right and you feel as if everyone is there just to make you and your party happy. In the 5 years I have been to Disney I have seen them go above and beyond what any company would do, But I'm not here to boast on Disney if you are plaining your trip now you already know or you will be pleasantly surprised! 

One thing you will want to keep in mind is your baby will sleep, and sleep a lot! There is a ton of stimulation and your child will crash out from over stimulation frequently.  For us the best early morning locations, when he slept the most, was Animal Kingdom and Epcot. There are more places where you walk around and look and enjoy the sites more. (and eat, make sure you eat in Epcot!) 

Mexico was a quiet restaurant and worked great for an air conditioned nap. 




Magic Kingdom is mostly rides and though we walked around a lot waiting for my son to wake up to ride, we had a blast anyways! He really got a kick out of "Its a small world", "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" and "The Carousel of progress" 




Rides: everyone wants to know about the rides, what can my baby ride? Honestly the list they cannot ride is shorter so that's the best place to start. 

MAGIC KINGDOM

The Barnstormer at Goofy's Wiseacre Farm
Must be 35"/89cm to ride.

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad:
Riders must be at least 40 inches (3'4") tall to ride. No child under the age of 7 may ride without an adult. Baby swap* can be used here.
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.

Space Mountain:
Riders must be at least 44 inches (3'8") tall to ride. No child under the age of 7 may ride without an adult and all passengers must ride in their own seat.  Baby swap* can be used here.
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Splash Mountain:
Riders must be at least 40 inches (3'4") tall to ride. No child under the age of 7 may ride without an adult. Baby swap* can be used here.
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.

Tomorrowland Speedway:
Riders must be at least 52 inches (4'4") tall to drive the cars alone. Baby swap* can be used here. Children under 12 months should not ride. For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Stitch's Great Escape!
Riders must be at least 40 inches tall to ride. 
The attraction has long periods of darkness and loud explosions that may frighten some children.

ANIMAL KINGDOM

Dinosaur:
40 inch minimum height requirement.
Special effects may be too intense for children and some adults. For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



It's Tough to be a Bug
Special effects may be too intense for children and some adults.  

We have seen this show, its a 4-D show and babies wont understand it, so if you think your baby will sit threw it than by all means do it, I am not a fan of this show so we did not see it. 

Kali River Rapids:
Minimum height is 38"
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Primeval Whirl:
Minimum height is 48"
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Expedition Everest - Legend of the Forbidden Mountain 
Height Requirement: 44" (113 cm) or taller. Riders should be in good health, free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this attraction. Expectant mothers should not ride. Adult supervision required.

EPCOT

Body Wars:
Must be at least 40 inches (102 cm) to ride. No child under the age of 7 may ride without an adult. No child under 3 may ride at all. Baby swap* can be used here. For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Maelstrom (Norway)
Special effects may be too intense for children and some adults.  

We did ride this one with our son. It has one dip a lot like the one in "The Pirates of the Caribbean"  a ride that Shepard also rode. You should draw the line between what Disney says to cover themselves and what you think.  

Test Track:
40" ride height requirement.
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Soarin': 
Riders must be 40 inches (102 cm) or taller.
Guests should be in good health, and free from heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.
Young children should be accompanied by an adult. Guests in wheelchairs must transfer from their wheelchairs to experience this attraction.

Mission: Space:

Riders must be at least 44 inches tall to blast off.  
 

Warning! During this intense astronaut training mission, you will experience the turbulence and G-forces of launch and re-entry, and the disorientation that often occurs outside the Earth's atmosphere.  Those who are made uncomfortable by enclosed dark spaces, simulators, spinning or loud sounds should bypass this experience. The seating and restraints on this attraction may prohibit guests of certain body shapes or sizes from experiencing it.
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not go on this attraction.

DISNEY'S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS

Backlot Tour (specifically Catastrophe Canyon)Special effects may be too intense for children and some adults



Rock N Roller Coaster:
Riders must be at least 48" tall
For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.

Star Tours:Must be at least 40 inches (102 cm) to ride. No child under the age of 7 may ride without an adult.  No child under 3 may ride at all. For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.



Twilight Zone Tower of Terror:
Riders must be at least 40 inches (3'4") tall to ride. Baby swap* can be used here. For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride.

My son loved to meet all the characters, we did Chef Mickey's a meet in greet breakfast and that was a smash hit! 

We also found Pooh and Tigger in Epcot and now every time he sees Tigger or Pooh he smiles and giggles! 


And the best of Disney's hidden gems (that everyone with kids should know) are the baby care centers, my only complaint with them are there need to be more in each park! 

They have everything from nice big changing tables to nursing rooms! There is also a TV room for your older children (and husbands) to have something to do as you change or nurse your child. Plus if you need baby food, formula or diapers you can buy them in the baby care center (at a Disney price of course).   Another thing about the centers, they are QUIET, COOL, and CALM.  Few people are there and fewer still stay there to chill out.  You can easily blow an hour in a baby care center.  Its great for the baby because he gets a chance to cool off, calm down from all the excitement, and maybe get some food and rest.  The same goes for adults, it's the only place in the park that you'll find with as much shade, air conditioning, and seating that is not in a restaurant, where you're going to fight crowds, loud kids (old and young alike) and spend money on food just to get some shade.  Take a snack into a baby care center and relax for an hour.  What a difference it makes for you and your baby!


We did no find ourself in Hollywood Studios this trip, though if your baby is of toddler age and is into Disney Junior I would make it over there for their Disney Junior - Live on Stage! features characters from Disney Channel's 'Jake and the Never Land Pirates,' 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse', 'Handy Manny' and 'Little Einsteins.'  There are short stories from each of the shows, as Mickey and his friends work together to throw a surprise party for Minnie!




Over all my best advice is to take your baby's lead and speed and in part plan but not too much because that moment you want to ride or do "X" it might be when your little one decides it's nap/lunch time! 

Letter to my Son

Shepard,
Today I watch you all of 6 months playing with Comet's empty food bowl and I can't believe how far we have come. My love for you has only expanded with every breath you take! The year it took to conceive you was only a blink of an eye... Bedrest was just a bump in the road.
Now I watch you grow and change, just yesterday you where a beautiful squishy blob in my arms and today you are crawling, sitting up on your own, eating solid food and have two teeth poking threw!
When you get upset and mutter Mamma my heart just melts a thousand times over!
You are a spit fire and have a personality that is going to give me a run for my money as you grow! Sitting still is not in your realm of existence, but you still keep crawling back to me! Your smile can light up the darkest room and I feel sorry for the poor girls in your future!

I could never have picked a better baby for me and your Daddy, but God knew what was in our hearts and chose you for us. And I thank him every day for you!

You make everyday beautiful and wonderful, I love watching you explore and just take on the world like it was made just for you! I hope you keep that fire in your eye and take everyday like it is new and wonderful!

We are in this together you me and your Daddy! Us agents the world and together we can do anything.

Me and your Daddy love you more than words can express! There is no way to tell you what you have brought to our lives but know no mater where you go what you do we are here cheering you on and loving you!

I hope the best in everything you do, Love you forever!

Mamma