To start it all over again

People ask me all the time about my pregnancy and I always say I had a great pregnancy, except and the beginning when I was high risk and stressed out... and then the end when I had preturm labor...

Sounds like really it was not that great, But I loved being pregnant! I did not have morning sickness I felt great most of the time and I was super cute and in love with how I looked with a belly!

I loved the attention I got and the fun we had picking out names and designing the nursery... I say designing because you see once we got around to putting the nursery together I was on bedrest and had to have others do it for me...

So do I put myself threw this again??

I spent a week in the hospital and was with out my dog and that depressed me... I have a child now... what would I do... its not like I had time to find someone to watch him... My husband in now in school, so not like he can just run to my side... his boss gave him many days off to help me... now he will have none and we will have a child too...

My son has never been left with anyone but my mom, who lives 10 hours away...
I have no one...

I have only lived in this town for 6 months I don't have anyone I trust with my son's life... and my husband is in school he only has time off with the school...

I want another baby I do more than anything, I want Shepard to have a sibling, I want him to always have someone who has his back and understands him the way no one else could! I want him to have what I have in my brothers...

I'm scared...

I know in the end everything will work out we will make it work... We want another child...

But I'm scared...

How can I put Shepard through all of this again...

Shepard also spent a week in the hospital... What do I do if the new baby has to do the same?

I dont want to think about my fear...
But in the end,

I'm am just scared...